The Hearse Ride...
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Broken Heart
I've been so strong lately ...I've even been shocked at how I handle crisis situations now, but it won't last, I've felt myself sinking deep into my thoughts about Jeffrey, I've become almost obsessed, with who, when, where...Jeffrey......not so good...
I'm a fuckin' mess ...I hide it well, though...thanks to theatrics...lol.
I'm more concerned with Jeff's Aunt. I knew she was a loose cannon when I met her, but I still pursued her, There's a reason I settled here, and it's not just obligations. I sometimes think myself as a monk, as crazy as it sounds.....well,....it's not as if getting laid is my stronghold...lol!!
Not like a woman could even satisfy me...lmao!! {she just doesn't know those special places like a man would}.....(giggle)
Jeffrey knew. . . . .(but I won't go into that)
I'm just barely functioning now.
I'm a fuckin' mess ...I hide it well, though...thanks to theatrics...lol.
I'm more concerned with Jeff's Aunt. I knew she was a loose cannon when I met her, but I still pursued her, There's a reason I settled here, and it's not just obligations. I sometimes think myself as a monk, as crazy as it sounds.....well,....it's not as if getting laid is my stronghold...lol!!
Not like a woman could even satisfy me...lmao!! {she just doesn't know those special places like a man would}.....(giggle)
Jeffrey knew. . . . .(but I won't go into that)
I'm just barely functioning now.
3 Comments:
Jeffrey went away but he didn't go far away...you'll notice more of his "presence" later than just now...I know, although his name was Jose Luis (and he had Jewish German blood mixed with fancy RC Spaniard and he died/murdered two weeks before he was 35)...take one step in front of the other, don't be distracted, keep moving through the pain and shock, you will "function" better than ever before later, keep walking...Jefferey will help you find your way as you heal. He's on your side. Healing is real and I didn't know how much grief I was walking through until it disappeared as quickly as it had come over me.
Love to you,
Your brother from afar,
Leonardo Ricardo
Thank You, Leonardo....I'm sorry I was so bitchy to you on Jake's blog, Too much pent up emotion...and a little too much vodka....caused me to go over the edge into Bitchville something I revert to when emotionally taxed.
I'm sorry if I upset you.
David Green
David,
Everything Leonardo says about your loss is absolutely true. The cliché holds: time heals all wounds. Doesn't remove those wounds... just heals the pain.
Like Leonardo, I too have been through this. My partner (of 10 years) was shot in a holdup. I've been there, believe me! And while no person can ever claim to "know what you're feeling," there are some of us who know the pain and grief of loss. Don't deny its reality... but give it time. Wonderful days are ahead... of that you can be sure.
Contact me any time you need a shoulder.
David
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