The Hearse Ride...

I've often thought that I was a freak....because of my extra sensory perception. I'm not though.
I learned that I am a gift from God to others, whether they want to believe it or not. And I've learned to use my gift for the good, because I'm sure there are those that use the same gifts for other purposes other than why they were gifted with it.
I can't stop people from using what is a gift for evil purposes, but I don't have to put up with it either.
And I won't!!

So if someone reading this blog sees me go off on another person, you can be well assured, I believe I'm in the right, from what I know about the person.
I hate confrontation, but I'm not afraid to confront someone who is wrong...in God's eyes.....I guess it's hard to say that I'm right when it's about someone no one has seen, but if you have Faith, you have seen God many times and will never forget who he/she is.

And you will never question his ways. But, it seems there are many trying to say what he meant, by re-evaluating the Bible...

The Bible was written by man, for man.

I'm assuming, (since I don't know) that these people trying to limit God, have all about lost their Faith in God. There could be many reasons for it, sadly they think God is a being of limits. I've never felt that way,...but sadly certain people do, and they will limit his power (which they can't..lol...obviously) ...to what they imagine is his limit,...as is there is such a thing to the Holy Father. (he was the inventor of lies, and truth)

Somewhere along the lines, someone thought they were cheated by God, and as such...we are in this predicament. The truth shall prevail...
Eventually ++Peter will have to answer for his mania. Only he and God will know his answer.

Recently I posted this on a blogsphere I belong to.....I was in pure sorrow for a friend I had recently lost in an auto accident. I was devastated...I cannot express the sorrow I felt on this blog.

I tried to tap into those who were there,......And I was POSSESSED literally!!

(I'm carried by His light...It makes me feel oh so free. He has deep feelings for you. You do not know, but He's always been with you...
He LOVES YOU!! EVERYONE!!)


I don't claim to be a Devout Episcopalian,...which is one of the good things about being Episcopalian. You can be close to Agnostic or you can be an almost devout Catholic, and it doesn't matter. You still carry the Faith of God, the Father Almighty, and his Son Jesus Christ. And both thee in one, The Holy Ghost.

Lately I've gone through, what I thought was the worst heartbreak in my life..... But it is not, there are worse things in this world. Just look at world governments!!

I'm more worried about those left behind.

I guess I spoke too soon on Saturday...lol. Come late afternoon I visited Jeff's grave and had a good cry.
I don't know why his death hit me so hard? I mean, I haven't felt so mournful since my mother past away.....way back in 1986. I guess I've just been alone for so long that I get too emotionally involved in friendships.
Or perhaps I really did fall in love with him?

Oh well, I'm not going to worry about it. It could be much worse, I could have no friends, or loved ones. What a sad state of affairs that would be.

I'm riding on a wave of depression now, I'm trying not to slip back where I was 2 years ago....I don't ever want to go that far down again!!
I usually get up early, like 9 am, though I don't venture out of my room till about 11 am....because Granny is always nagging me in the A.M. and lately I can't deal with her BS!!
Last week I planned to make baked macaroni & cheese, but I slipped downhill all week, and now perhaps I'll make it tonight....if I get the kitchen in order before I run out of steam, which sounds like it won't get made till Sunday.... at this rate.

And the worst part about it is Jeffrey's Aunt seems to be ignoring me lately.... Maybe that's her way to deal with what has happened, but it is depressing me much further. I need a good cry, but it's not on the horizon.

Labels: Nave Window : Grace Episcopal Church - Lapeer MI

I've been so strong lately ...I've even been shocked at how I handle crisis situations now, but it won't last, I've felt myself sinking deep into my thoughts about Jeffrey, I've become almost obsessed, with who, when, where...Jeffrey......not so good...
I'm a fuckin' mess ...I hide it well, though...thanks to theatrics...lol.

I'm more concerned with Jeff's Aunt. I knew she was a loose cannon when I met her, but I still pursued her, There's a reason I settled here, and it's not just obligations. I sometimes think myself as a monk, as crazy as it sounds.....well,....it's not as if getting laid is my stronghold...lol!!

Not like a woman could even satisfy me...lmao!! {she just doesn't know those special places like a man would}.....(giggle)

Jeffrey knew. . . . .(but I won't go into that)

I'm just barely functioning now.

Recently, someone I cared a lot about, Jeffrey, was killed in an auto accident. I thought it didn't matter, after all he did love to party hard ......but then I also like to party hard... so I guess I'm not much better. . . in those eyes!!
But it's the eyes that see beyond drugs & alcohol, and see the light that shines in a person that matters. I happen to be one of those people with the ability, or is it hope, that there is much more there than seen with the eye. And I will go out of my way to find the true person hidden behind drugs & alcohol. That's just me......that's the way I've always been,.........I blame it on being a Libra...lol. But there is no blame in loving you're brother....or sister, as I believe we are all related in God's eyes. I have great empathy for my fellow man, which is sometimes a nuisance...because it can consume me........but I just try to go with my heart most of the time .
I'll miss Jeffrey...he touched my heart when I first met him, some years ago at a shared Thanksgiving dinner. Since then I've thought about him on and off when I would see him in the neighborhood, then last year I reconnected with his Aunt...and I became concerned with his behavior...and had plans to put it in check,.......but then he was killed. So now I'll just grieve with his friends and family...and remember the good times when he touched all our lives.

We'll miss you Jeffrey.... But I'm sure your spirit will be there to comfort our sorrows.