The Hearse Ride...
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I cannot say that life is joyful, in fact it has and has been the opposite for quite some time. My Grandmother is literally KILLING me, and the sad fact of the matter is , I don't give a damn!!
I'm at the bottom of my sober ability to deal with her any more. If she doesn't get her way, she calls (distant) family and starts trouble, ...trouble that makes my ever depressed being, sink lower,...and I thought Death was the lowest?
I had at one time thought about trying Meth, ... in fact last week I did.
It was something I HADN'T felt since before my Mother died, .....JOY, a sense of WELL BEING that I have NEVER before experienced. But of course,..I KNOW the addictive affects of this homemade drug.
But I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!!
In fact it is a welcome relief from the past 10 years!!
Whatever happens from now on, ....was MY OWN CHOICE!!