The Hearse Ride...
Thursday, September 06, 2007
I mean, for the last three months I've been having major anger issues with certain members of my immediate family, but being the idiot I am, I'm unable to address those issues because I'm quite sure it will make no difference whatsoever in the long run.
I have lately become physically ill because of this issue, and I'm soooooo over it. If I could just climb into my car and drive away, and never look back....That would be a Godsend!!!
I'm just so tired, I've lost about 35#, not that I didn't need to lose weight, but . .
And you know, it feels like I'm stuck in a never ending loop of feeling like shit. It doesn't matter if I'm sober or not, it's the same.
I just want to have fun again!!
I have noticed that this all developed after Jeff's death, which I'm sure was a catalyst for my present situation. I'm tired of being ignored by family members, who seem to think that my inability to procure a life for myself whilst taking care of an elderly family member who is Very High Maintenance, is my own fault!!
Talk about dysfunction?!?
My father was recently here, and I was unable to discuss anything with him because he was plastered 3/4 of the time, and wondered why I wasn't drinking...I'd cry if it wasn't so laughable!!