The Hearse Ride...
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
BULLSHIT!!
I'm so deeply depressed lately I just want out. My life has gone nowhere for at least 10 years and I predict it will continue to go nowhere because I have no solutions in site. I seem to cry everyday now, for no apparent reason, other than financial sinking. And it is sinking, ..lower and lower,..every month.
I will use my car for my final solution, ...not sure how yet, but it will come to me. And no one will miss me, ..because they never bothered to visit or talk to me all these years.
When my Dad died in Feb. I went into a waking coma, .... then my Aunt died July 4th, ... Since then it's been tears everyday, ..at inopportune times .... life reflection,... and a grief I cannot deal with.
I can't deal with life PERIOD!!! I'm forever unemployed, broke, and the bills just pile up. I'm at the end of the rope.
I will use my car for my final solution, ...not sure how yet, but it will come to me. And no one will miss me, ..because they never bothered to visit or talk to me all these years.
When my Dad died in Feb. I went into a waking coma, .... then my Aunt died July 4th, ... Since then it's been tears everyday, ..at inopportune times .... life reflection,... and a grief I cannot deal with.
I can't deal with life PERIOD!!! I'm forever unemployed, broke, and the bills just pile up. I'm at the end of the rope.
2 Comments:
My Dear Friend David,
You are seriously depressed and seem overwhelmed, frustrated and at the "falling off place"...I have been there before and yet it is hard for me to suggest that our circumstances are the same...what I see over the years is you seem terribly lonely and sometimes this situation is made worse by not taking care of yourself...it is you that ought be the main subject of your concern...it is you that must reach out for support, friendship, love and plain HELP...there are many venues for receiving HELP but it is you that must decide, admit you need help and the reach out for it...you are the key to your survival by taking positive action...now. When I felt bewildered to the point of complete emotional/spiritual loss I was also using alcohol and drugs to ease the pain...the problem was that eventually neither worked and I felt more lost than ever before...I felt that my Soul was disappearing from inside of me but there was something left of it/me that wanted another chance to survive myself...I wanted a chance to live happily inspite of my feelings of complete loss and pending doom...I reached out for help and got it...I swallowed my pride and cried out (first privately to God to "take this away) and then by sharing my REAL and desperate circumstance with strangers and friends...I got the help and healing I needed after I was willing to go to any length to get it...that help is available if you telephone United Way in your area, or Alcoholics Anonymous, or Suicide Hot Lines, or Codependents Anonymous or other HELP LINES (you might even consider telephoning a priest in your area...simply choose the parish carefully as WE both know that in the Diocese of Central Florida HELP may be of a very tainted kind and you don't need that anti-Gay crap when you are simply attempting to stabalize your physical being as well as your emotional stress and mental anguish...fact is the Episcopal Church may have suggestions for recovery of the type that you need and you NEED NOT get into other issues at this time...your return to health then hope is the key. Don't forget to contact me directly if you would like to share more, I'm here for you:
leonardoricardosanto at gmail.com
santosiempre at yahoo.com
I'll telephone you if you'd like to talk at any time.
Love to you, your brother,
Len
And no one will miss me....
David, I will miss you. I like when you drop in at Wounded Bird and leave your brief, funny comments.
You need help, and I hope you will get help. You are on my daily prayer list. Don't make me think that I've been praying for you all this time to no avail. Please do as Len says and search around for the best help you can find.
Love and blessings.
Post a Comment
<< Home