The Hearse Ride...

I was watching some awful tattoo show on A&E tonight while I was eating my stuffed crust Pizza Hut pizza, and I had approx. 24 mins. to kill till Boston Legal was on, so I flipped on Toon and the tail end of the original Dr.Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas was on. The one with my old bud Boris Karloff narrating.
And for some unknown reason tears started to stream from my eyes. I instantly thought of my mother, and being a kid watching the same show and being in awe of it, way back in the early 70's in Ann Arbor Michigan. It was an intense warm feeling that I haven't felt for a long time, and frankly I was overcome. (as I write this I'm getting the same reaction)
I also felt deep sorrow for letting my life experiences turn me into such a hard heart.
This time of year has always been very hard for me, since my mother past away some 21 years ago. It seems though the older I get the more depressed I get around Christmas time. I would probably be drinking some booze now, if I didn't have a chest cold. But I'm not up to getting walking pneumonia, ...anytime soon...lol.

This year though, I've been pretty much numb....between my bitching at Granny, and trying not go insane...living in this situation.

I still get a yearning for a good old family Christmas from time to time, but I'm guessing those years are going to just be good memories, and it's all been downhill since 1986.